edfandomcom-20200215-history
Fa-La-La-La-Ed/Script
and Eddy walk from one room into another, snickering all the way. Edd: "We're not allowed to play up here, fellas!" friends sneak into another room, but he doesn't see them. Edd: "I repeat, upstairs is off limits!" breaking sound is heard. Edd: "This is not good." flings a door open, a hand over his eyes. "You're trespassing in my parents' bedroom! Please leave now or I'll have to call an attorney!" Eddy: Edd's mother "Eddward! Must your father and I remind you to finish your homework?" Ed: Edd's father "That is right, son. A mind is a terrible organ to shovel." Edd: "HAVE YOU GONE MAD?" attempts to pull Ed from the bed. "My blood sugar seems a tad low." snickers. Edd: "EDDY, YOU'RE CONTAMINATING MOTHER'S LINEN WITH MILLIONS OF DEAD SKIN CELLS!" dives beneath the sheets. "If you two only knew the regimen of cleaning procedures that you've set into place–" Eddy: "Woohoo!" is spinning on a rotatable mirror. "Jane, stop this crazy thing!" lump in the middle of the bedspread collapses. Ed: "Look what I found!" pushes out of a cabinet. "Sticky notes!" Edd: "You put those back!" Eddy: "You're in trouble, Ed!" runs away gleefully. Ed: "I'm a bad boy!" follows Eddy away, putting sticky notes on him as they run. "Sticky note! Sticky note! Sticky note!" Edd: "Downstairs immediately!" tongue hits Edd in the face. Edd pulls it away to reveal a sticky note with "stiky note" written on it. "Your spelling's atrocious, Ed." comes by in a rowboat. Eddy: "Row! Row! Row! Row!" Edd: "Eddy, you're scratching the floor!" Eddy: "Row! And–" Ed: "My turn!" leaps on Eddy. "Boing!" Eddy: Ed with a paddle "Smack!" Ed: flying "Whoosh!" Edd: chasing "Pant pant pant pant." Ed: "Ha ha!" crashes in a closet. "Oop." Edd: wildly for him "Where'd he go? Where'd he go?" Ed: "Look what I found!" Edd: "NO, NOT THAT!" Ed: "Bubble wrap." pops a bubble, damaging the ceiling. Edd: "Ed!" Ed: "Cool!" then pulls a whole sheet out. The object wrapped inside the bubble wrap comes out and falls on Edd's head. "What was that?" Eddy: "It's a hunk of baloney, Ed. What are ya?" Edd: dazed "Baloney? Please." strains to lift it. "It's–the–ancestral fruitcake!" Eddy: "Looks like you got competition, Ed." grins at this. Edd: "For decades, we parade the cake every Christmas!" suddenly alert, presses on top of Edd's head to rewind. Edd: "For decades, we parade the cake every Christmas!" rewinds again. "Every Christmas!" Ed: excited "Christmas, Eddy! I want a flying saucer, a pen and pencil set, four egg rolls, a subscription to Chunky Puff Quarterly, a box of Band-Aids, a big book, and…um…" Eddy: "Get over it, Ed. It's July! Anyways, Christmas stinks. All I ever get is clothes." Ed: "That's 'cause Santa knows you're a naughty little boy, Eddy." Eddy: to bite Ed "Santa don't know squat!" Ed: Eddy by the mouth in a panic "DON'T EVER SAY THAT, EDDY! Santa is making his list and checking it twice." bells are heard. "SANTA!" laughs merrily. Eddy: "You're scaring me, Ed." goes to the window and looks out. "Hey! You there!" and Jimmy are running somewhere, piggy banks tucked under their arms. Eddy: they look up "Yes you, with the piggy banks! Where you guys going?" Sarah: grumpily "Don't bother, Eddy. I forget where we're going." Jimmy: "We're going to a party, silly." Eddy "It's Piggy Bank Day! Gee whillikers, Eddy, you know. The day where everyone cracks open their piggy banks and spends all their money?" Sarah: "Why don't you tell him your shoe size, Jimmy?" Jimmy: "Why?" pulls him away. Edd: "Of course, it's Piggy Bank Day!" Eddy: "Now that's what I call a holiday! Piggy banks, money, and spending. 'Tis the season, Double D." Ed: a sprig of mistletoe "Do you see what I see?" puckers up. Eddy: "Where'd you get that mistletoe in July?!" Edd: "There's no kissing allowed in my parents' room, Ed!" Eddy: Edd as a shield "You take care of Ed, Double D. I've got another nut to crack. Or should I say, piggy bank." leaves. Edd: away from Ed "Ed, please! Someone may be watching!" ---- kids are at the piggy bank party, playing. Jonny: up to Nazz "Snort snort snort!" Nazz: "Oink oink to you too!" look at Kevin. Kevin: "Oink. Yeah, whatever." then look at Jimmy, who is crying. He has a mallet poised over his bank. Jimmy: "Oh the agony! And the ecstasy!" Sarah: "Hit it, Jimmy! Smash it into tiny pieces!" Jimmy: "The guilt's too great for one person to bear, Sarah." Sarah: "Well, then, let's do it together!" Jimmy: "Okay!" Sarah: lift the hammer "Upsa-daisy!" Eddy: "Greetings, fellow grungers! Tired of the cleanup when all your piggy-smashing's done?" and Edd are on a vehicle with a giant metal pig on it. Kevin: "Check it out, guys. It's Dork and Beans!" Edd: getting the reference "Beans? An edible seed?" Eddy: out "Our Piggy-Bank Belly-Pumper will extract your cash without you having to smash." Jimmy: "Really? Sarah! I can cancel my therapy!" Ed: an elf with a gift box "Not yet, for it is Christmas and I bear stuff." bends down, gets confused, then remembers what he was going to do. "Oh yeah." reaches into the box and pulls out a shovel with red stripes painted on it. "Who wants a jumbo candy cane?" Kevin: "It's July, bonehead." Ed: "And a partridge in a pear–" smacks Ed in the face with the shovel. Eddy: "What can I tell ya? Now, who wants their piggy-bank belly pumped?" Jimmy: "Um, I'm not sure…" Eddy: "First customer gets a discount." takes the piggy bank. Kevin: "Oh, this is gonna be good." Eddy: "Don't blink." pushes a button, and the bank is cleaned. Jonny: "Shazam." Nazz: "Cool!" Eddy: "Now hang on to your snouts, 'cause after this patented suction cycle, your–" sock descends next to him "–hard-earned Christmas stocking will come out here." realizes what he said. Ed: another stocking to the side of the machine "Stocking ready for stuffing, Santa!" Eddy: "Ed! the stockings Beat it or I'll stuff your sock!" Ed: "But Eddy, I am an elf." hears something from inside the machine. Edd: "Oh, curse my gullibility." Ed: "For shame." louder "Santa, spare him!" rips away the side of the belly-pumper, revealing Edd with a hammer about to smash Jimmy's piggy bank. Kevin: "Hello." Ed: "Naughty boy, Double D." Jimmy: "My piggy!" Edd: "Oh, I'm so ashamed!" bursts into tears. Ed: "There, there. Santa forgives." a poor and guilt-ridden Edd continues to cry tears of shame, the kids angrily stare at Eddy. Eddy: to absolve himself of any guilt "Oh, how could you, Double D! It's his hat. It's too tight. Cuts off the circulation, you know." kids continue to stare at him in disbelief. Ed: Eddy's face "Santa sees all. A lump of coal for naughty Eddy. Alley-oop." Jimmy "Here's your piggy back bank–um–back Jimmy. Merry Christmas!" Jimmy: the pig "Piggy's belly's full, Sarah!" Kevin: "It's better to give–" Nazz: "Than to receive, Ed." Kevin: "That's why I'm giving Eddy a knuckle sandwich!" Rolf: "Kevin! Air mail!" throws Wilfred at Kevin. "I must feast my eyes on the sow of Christmas past." is staring at the Piggy-Bank Belly-Pumper. Kevin: "It's not Christmas, Rolf." Eddy: "It's July!" Rolf: "Not since Rolf's youth has the foul odor of the Christmas sow taunted Rolf's nostrils!" squeals. Jonny: "That's the spirit, Wilfred!" Rolf: "The scrolls proclaim, 'Every time a pig squeals an angel gets its–'" Jonny: "I'm a pig too, Wilfred." down to the pig's level "See my snout?" attacks. "Aaah! Uncle! Uncle!" Eddy: "Christmas stinks." Rolf: "Come! Gather round Rolf, as I cannot contain the Christmas mirth crawling up my back hair! Merry Christmas, Jonny wood-boy." hands Jonny a yo-yo. Jonny: "For me?" Kevin: "You feeling all right, Rolf?" Rolf: "Merry Christmas, Kevin." gives Kevin a unicycle. Jimmy: "Presents?" Rolf: "Jimmy." Jimmy: "Whee! Just what I've always wanted!" has handed over one of his shoes. It is then shown that he has given his clothes as gifts. Nazz: "Uh, gee, thanks, Rolf." Ed: Rolf, who is in his underwear "Merry Christmas, Rolf!" Eddy: annoyed "IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS!" Kevin: into the spirit "Who's up for eggnog?" kids begin to follow him to his place. Nazz: "Oh, me!" Jonny: "I'm up, so is Plank!" Sarah: "Wait for me!" Rolf: Wilfred "Chestnuts. I must have chestnuts." ---- is squatting in the ruined scam, crying tears of misery. A hand taps him on the shoulder. Jimmy: "Double D?" holds out his piggy bank. "Merry Christmas." Edd: tears from his eyes "Jimmy? Why um, thank you, but I couldn't." pushes the pig away. Jimmy: offering it again "But it's Christmas." Eddy: up "Wait! I'll take it. Merry Christmas, Jimmy!" Sarah: back for Jimmy "Hit the road, Scrooge!" pulls Jimmy away. Eddy: "I don't get it." Edd: "Don't you see, Eddy? The spirit of Christmas isn't in getting presents; it's about giving joy! Goodwill! And peace on Earth!" Eddy: an idea "I got it! So what are we waiting for, Double D? I know how to get the gift that keeps on giving." pulls Edd away. Edd: "Sounds like Mother's brussel sprouts." ---- sound of sleigh bells is heard, and Nazz opens her door. There is snow falling. Nazz: "Do you hear it, Kevin?" look up and see Ed on the roof. Ed is scratching his head, and his dandruff is falling like snow. Ed: "Fah-laky!" laughs. "Ho ho ho!" Kevin: "Get off the roof, ya–" Edd and Eddy: singing "Jingle bells, jingle bells, giving joy all day–" falls off the roof. Eddy: Nazz giggle, he pulls out his money jar "We made you laugh, so give up your cash, and cheer will come your way!" shakes a few quarters from her piggy bank into the jar. "Bingo." ---- Eds are in Jimmy's house. The Eds: "Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. Give us cash or we'll never stop singing, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la." quarters drop into the jar. ---- Eds are at a door, singing. The Eds: "We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christ–" door opens and Edd and Eddy stop. Ed: "–mas, we wish you a merry Christmas, so give us some cash!" Eds are at Rolf's house. Rolf has decorated with various meats. As Edd leaves after Ed finishes the song, Eddy holds the jar out worriedly. Rolf: bacon in the jar "No cash. A fine strip of bacon, yes?" gives off a look of annoyance. ---- Ed: a Christmas tree "Am I a good elf, Double D?" Edd: helping "Santa would be proud, Ed. You did a wonderful thing by bringing the spirit of Christmas to the cul-de-sac." Ed: "That is 'cause I'm an elf, Double D." large Santa bag hops its way into the park where Ed and Edd are. Eddy: the bag "I'm back! Surprise!" heaves the bag onto a tree stump and dives in. Ed: "What'd I get, what'd I get?" Eddy: up with a jawbreaker "I love Christmas!" Edd: happy "Eddy! Jawbreakers?" Eddy: "A yuletide haul, Double D." Edd: "It's absolutely magnificent! Oh, Eddy, you shouldn't have." Eddy: "Had to cash in that jar of Christmas cheer, you know." steals the jawbreaker. Edd: "Ed, that's my jawbreaker!" Eddy: "Relax, Double D. There's plenty more where that–" looks at the now empty tree stump. "WHERE'D THEY GO?" Ed: offscreen "And what would you like for Christmas, young man?" has taken the bag and is playing Santa. Jimmy: "A jawbreaker." Ed: one in Jimmy's mouth "There you go!" Jimmy: "Yummy!" Eddy: "ED!" looks around the lane. Rolf: "Jawbreaker is good, yes?" feeds one to Wilfred. All the kids are enjoying them. Eddy: despairing "HE GAVE AWAY ALL MY JAWBREAKERS!" Edd: to hold Eddy back "Eddy, wait! You're wearing out the soles of my shoes!" loses his grip. Ed: "Ho ho ho!" looks in the bag. Eddy: "Ed!" dives at Ed, but Ed moves to the side, and Eddy hits the Christmas display. Ed: "And one for the elf. I gave jawbreakers to all, so to all a good night." gets back up and attempts to attack Ed again, only to bounce off and fall back to the ground. Ed smiles as a snowflake iris fades the screen to black. Category:Season 2 Category:Season 2 Scripts Category:Scripts